It wasn't like I went around trying to make all that happen.
I was just doing my job. Pure and simple.
It started simply enough. Boy meets girl. Same tired old story you've heard since the earth was in diapers. Couple of nice kids. I almost didn't have to do a thing, 'cause they would have figured it out for themselves eventually -- I just nudged a few things here, quietly shoved a few things there, got them in position, shot the proverbial arrow, and voila. Happy couple, off to the church, then to live happily ever after.
Well, seems the families weren't too impressed with my efforts. Now I take great pride in my work. If I figure two people should be together, it's because I'm a paid professional. I can't change the oil in my truck without getting it all over the driveway, but love? I can see that in a second. Still, the families objected. "You're too young!" "She's not good enough for you!" "His family is all crazy!" You get the idea. So I had some mop-up work to do.
Now, those are tough -- you really have to keep your eye on the ball to make those work, but I'm not one to turn down a challenge. I surveyed the landscape a little and found that his uncle would look real good with her cousin -- yeah, little age difference, but I can work with that: I'm an artist. Then her brother proved real compatible with his mother's cousin's daughter.
Now I'll admit: sometimes I get a little crazy. Must be the artist in me. I couldn't leave well enough alone: I had to keep pushing the creative envelope. I had those two families so intermixed that in the end they could hold the same family reunion. Some of my best work, bar none.
Well, until the various honeymoons were over and folks started looking at the situation a little harder. Now, his little brother is her grandfather, and her cousin Jeremy is his new step-mother. It kinda got a little ugly, I guess. Three murders (well, okay, two: the other one was just manslaughter), a suicide, and a couple of life-in-prison-without-paroles, and, well, I guess I did go a little overboard a bit.
I know, I know, call me wild, call me crazy. I've always been one for experimentation -- it makes things more interesting by a long shot. And I did manage to get the entire mess its own guest spot on Springer, so they shouldn't be complaining too much.
Still, the company put me on indefinite leave for a while. They've promised they'll let me back once all the furor dies down.
