"Do what?" the Listener asked.
"Make them happy. Give them great sex lives. Allow them to sleep all night and wake up congestion-free."
The Listener shrugged. "Perhaps."
The pink one wakes me up.
The yellow one keeps me awake.
The blue one focuses me so I can drive to work.
The red one keeps my cholesterol down.
The green one keeps my heart rate up.
The orange one adjusts my stomach acidity.
The taupe one allows me to swallow.
The cyan one gives me a day's equivalent of fourteen vitamins and minerals.
The umber one allows the fourteen vitamins and minerals to interact at poeak efficiency.
The lavender one supercharges my exercise routine.
The mint one cools down my exercise routine.
The cardinal one maintains my mental equilibrium.
The pale grey one sharpens my focus.
The tan one allows me to unfocus and see the big picture.
The black one adjusts my oxygen/nitrogen ratio.
The white one allows me to self-adjust my oxygen/nitrogen ratio.
The emerald one calms me down at the end of the day.
The rose one puts me to sleep.
The slate one makes sure I stay that way.
The lime one gives me fantastic dreams all night long.
The powder blue keeps the nightmares away.
And the silver one... well, please, everything looks better when set off by silver.
"But does she ever eat?" the Woman with the Shaved Head asked.
"Eat?" the Listener answered. "Why bother?"
"Why indeed."
